Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Marriage is Hard....

Or so they say.
I heard it again and again...
and again
before we got married.
And so I've been waiting for it to get challenging and difficult.
I've been waiting for it to become "work." As I've so often heard it described.
I've waited for it to become a challenge to enjoy Zach's company.
I've been waiting to want to be alone and single some days.

But guess what?
It hasn't happened.

Do I think my marriage is better than anyone else's?
No. I actually do not.
At least not most marriages. Some, yes. I will admit.

Now don't get me wrong.
I will not lie and say we don't fight or argue or that I haven't wanted to smack my husband upside the head.
Oh have we ever fought!
But I could say the exact same for my mom, brother, dad, friends, co-workers, ward members, the loan officer at Cap Ed.
Anyone you have a relationship with, you will fight or argue with. True story!

I find it sad that so much negativity surrounds marriage. Especially when there's a newly engaged couple around.
I don't recall walking out the front door to meet the little neighbor girl across the street when I was little to hear my mom stop me and say, "Rufie, you just need to know friendship is hard."

I don't recall my mom telling me when my brother was born, "I know you're really excited , but I just want you to know that being a sister is really hard. It's a lot of work."

But if I want to be a good sister, it is sometimes something I need to put effort into. But I wouldn't call it work or hard.

But we do have to put effort into anything we want to be good at. I want to be a good wife?
Why?
Because Zach is good to me.
He makes me happier than I've ever been.
And because our marriage is fun and has surpasses all that I ever expected or even wanted.
I don't want that to change.
I only want things to get better.
That means that I have to get better.
I have to continue to improve myself daily.
And if I do that, I'm a better wife.
And we're happy.

So marriage isn't hard...it's a relationship.
A relationship that I love and feel blessed by every single day.

So maybe it's hard and maybe it's work.
But I don't see it that way.

3 comments:

rachel garber said...

Yay for this! I needed it - seeing as I'm getting married in three days and lay awake at night wondering if I'll miss being single and having nobody else to worry about . . . selfish, yes? For sure but I've been single 27 years. I also worry about the hard times and the "work" but I have your same outlook on the whole ordeal and think it'll be cupcakes and rainbows :)

Thanks again for posting this!

jenslhome said...

Dan and I just celebrated 7 years and I have never thought of being married as hard. Having a baby was more difficult to adjust to than being married! And I don't miss being single one bit! Dan and I have things we do together, and things we do seperatly, but at the end of the day we are both thankful for each other. The last 7 years flew by, as I am sure the next 30 will! Good post Miss Sharlee!

The Hodgepodges said...

This made me smile. =) I heard this a lot too, and everyone told me how hard that first year would be. I've never though being married was hard. I feel it's easy for us becasue we enjoy it. I do tend to say that it's something we work on everyday... but not in the sense like it's a job or something like that. What I mean by that is that it's my priorty in life to put marriage/family first and it's constantly on my mind. And I think as long as we both have that mentality it's not "hard work" =) I hope that makes sense. I also agree having kiddos has given us our challenges, but has also strengthened us. He's had to put up with some very crazy hormoned rants of mine, or terrible two tantrums... and you've got to have a strong base and lots of patience to get past those! He he he. If your marriage is already rocky it will not survive those. Ok, that's my speal.