Answer This...

So, Shane and Kylie are getting married.

I'm the Maid of Honor, can you believe it?

It would make sense as Kylie is a follower of this blog and Shane is not.

In fact, he refuses to be.

See how this is.

Do you see how incredibly fortunate I am to have a future sister-in-law that I like...

or I would probably lose all ties with my brother.

I love him dearly, you know this.

He's just...such.a.boy.

Anyway...I am throwing a shower for the bride-to-be in August.

What are your words of wisdom for a young bride to be?

And if you're not married, what are your words of wisdom for one living on her "own" for the first time?

I say this:

Register and spend your gift money WELL.

That's my only suggestion.

Well that and be friends, but I'm pretty certain that's a given!

As a newlywed myself, I don't have a ton of advice as I'm certainly no expert.

Why so important to register well?

Because Zach and I was so afraid that we were going to be poor that I thought we needed everything. 

We certainly couldn't register for the best of everything because then we wouldn't get it...so we registered for middle-ground everything (except bedding...we do have some decent bedding.)

I even remember my Aunt Taunya saying to me: We bought you a bunch of stuff because you didn't register for anything expensive.

So not even two years into the marriage and we need to replace things. So I say:  register well.

I know...do I ever seem shallow? That's my marriage advice as maid of honor.

So help me out....

What are your words of wisdom for a young bride to be?

Answer This

What are some traditions that your family has?

During our heritage lesson on Sunday some of the girls and leaders shared some family traditions.

I loved listening to them.

There are several that I would love to adopt. 

Family traditions fascinate me.

Our family traditions may be smallish in nature but here are a few:

*Santa still comes to visit Shane and me. As does the Easter Bunny. True. And I look forward to it/need it.

*Pajamas for Christmas Eve every year aside from the one year my mom made a massively poor choice and went with bathrobes.

*Every Christmas Eve my grandpa reads the Christmas story from the bible.
*And every Christmas Eve the kids act out the nativity.
*In Zach's family we have Gingerbread House Wars

*Zach and I have just started gifts of Love, Want, and Need for Christmas. (Thanks to Aleisha and Rich for sharing that tradition with us. We love it and will do it with our kids, too)

*For our first anniversary Zach and I decided that we will not buy separate gifts for each other but that we'll make a purchase together for something fun that we can do/use. Whether it be a game, camping equipment, a vacation, etc...Something we will enjoy together and will make memories.)

But I'm just dying to hear more.

So tell me:

What are some of your family traditions? 

My Last Name

Yesterday the Young Women had a lesson on heritage. I loved the lesson.

I especially loved the question that was posed:

"What kind of ancestor will you be?"

When I met Zach/realized I wanted to marry Zach (those two are pretty much synonymous)

I had a very difficult time with the idea of parting with my last name.

Do I hyphen it?

Do I keep it as a middle name?

Do I get rid of it all together? Just the thought of that made me shutter...

You wouldn't believe the heated remarks you can get out of just about anyone when you bring that up. 

Everyone had an opinion on it: my principal, my future father-in-law, my friends, my co workers, my ward members. 

But I just couldn't handle the idea of parting with the last name I was given.

With what it represented to me.

To me, my maiden name represents

This woman:

 

My grandma.

The biggest compliment you can give to me is to either tell me I look like her or that I have a characteristic of hers. My mom is best at doing this.

To me, my Grandma Marty is my last name. She encompasses so much that I desire to be:

Righteous

Steadfast

Strong

Intelligent

Faithful

Tall

A forever brunette

Well-Dressed

Well Respected

I love all of my family. 

My maiden name means a lot to me because it is my family.

It is my history.

And I had a hard time parting with it.

It's the name I share with my brother.

It's the name that followed me for a quarter of a century.

It's the name on my college degree.

It's the name that hung above my very first classroom door.

So I kept it.

It is still there. 

It's legally still my name.

In addition, I got another last name... 

I am every bit as proud of it.

I'm proud of it, mostly because of my husband.
I am so proud to be his wife. 

But also because my husband carries this man's last name, as well. And I could not be more proud.

On Father's Day we spent some time at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Those two treat me like I'm family.

100%

I have always had a thing for grandparents.

They are such great gifts.

I watched Grandpa play with his great-granddaughter and my eyes teared up.

I cannot wait to get to see him hold our baby someday.

I can't wait to pass this heritage on to someone else.

So what kind of ancestor will I be? 

I certainly hope the kind that will make my posterity proud to carry on my name.

I can think of no greater honor to those who have given me theirs...

"I may never make it famous, but I'll never bring it shame. It's my last name."

"My Last Name" by Dierks Bentley

 

Our Dads

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!--Lydia M. Child

And how blessed we are (Zach and I) to have so many father figures in our lives.
Thanks to my daddy, Zach's dads, and our grandpas for blessing our lives. We love you!

Oh, and if you're looking for clarification--my husband is the baby in this photo. Not the man holding the baby, that would be his dad. Did it trip you out? It does me...every. single. time.

Words I'm Going to Start Living By

This weekend I had a big. fat. epiphany.
I was pondering on some things that I was watching someone else do...and I realized that in my own way I do it too. This quote came to mind:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "
--Marianne Williamson

I'd just like to discuss some of the aspects of this quote that go hand in hand with what I've been thinking.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you.
How often do we do this?
How often have I downplayed some of my blessings.
My wonderful family, friends, and yes husband.
Somehow sometimes I feel bad that I have these things.
Or that I've taken a vacation.
Or purchased something new.
Or done something fun and exciting.
At work, I really try not to play small too much.
I will tell my boss when I feel like I've been successful or done something right.
He's actually taught me to do that...to toot my own horn, if you will.
And I'm learning...at work.
But I still downplay my personal life.
Quite a bit. I feel bad that I love my husband and would rather spend time with him than the "girls." I either feel like they'll think I'm dumb or they feel like I am still a newlywed and eventually the honeymoon will "end." And so I don't really express how much fun I have at home with Zach or how much I like spending time with him.
But really, why not?
Who am I hurting by covering up my happiness?

I feel guilty sometimes that I still have good girlfriends from before marriage.
There's a different kind of relationship there, and I definitely think it can leave others envious at times.
I sometimes have felt bad about sharing Misty's position in my life. That we are the best of friends. For forever.
So I've been known to consciously tell someone something like, "But I don't see her that often. I'm a bad friend."
To water down the beauty of our friendship.
And I've done it knowingly.

When I talk about other friends, I feel like I downplay their importance in my life.
And more importantly, my love for them.
I love differently, but there's something to be said for the love I have for Misty, Jonnie, Sarah, Natasha, Jennifer, and Aleisha.
Some of that love goes beyond a family kind of love.

Why?
Why shouldn't others know about my blessings?
Maybe they'd be more comfortable sharing theirs?
Or maybe they'd look for them more?
Or perhaps they'd seek some of the things I have?

I know that I have friends that are very ambitious in their work.
Or maybe they're really good with their money and are very deserving of the things that come their way as a result of the choices they've made.
I know that I could feel envious of them and just bad about myself for all that I'm lacking.
But if I'm ever aware of my blessings and I let the beauty of my life shine.
I think I'm just more likely to come home and tell Zach that I want more.
More out of myself.
More discipline.
More education.
More ambition.
Not necessarily this minute, but I'm not done.

And if we all help each other to keep from settling.
To keep from using that awful word: content.
Wouldn't that make the world a better place?
Wouldn't we truly be serving the world?

I think so.

What's worse than being content is to be blind to your blessings.
To publicly deny them.
That's just plain ugly.

I don't know about you, but I think I was meant to be beautiful.
I want to be beautiful.
So I think I'm going to try a little harder...to let my light really shine.

Push Pause!!!!

Those are the words I yelled at Zach as we were watching the new Karate Kid.

This is how the rest of the conversation went:

Zach: Why?
Me: Push Pause!! On Jackie Chan's face. It has to be on his face!
Zach: Okay. Why?!?
Me: He looks like my Uncle Levi (begin hysterical laughter at self) and I have to show Shane!
Zach: He does NOT look like Levi!
Me: Yes, he does (continue laughing as I snap a picture and send text to mom and Shane) Shane will back me up.
Zach: What's so funny is how amused you are with yourself.
Me: I know. (Continue laughing)

Well, once again, my brother let me down.
I never received a text back.
He's my agree-er.
Mom looks like Oprah. We agree.
Will looks like Jim Carey. We agree.
Levi looks like Jackie Chan (still laughing). I still don't know.
So what do you think?
Do you see it at all?

Hilarious either way!

Announcement

These two are getting married.
Date? TBA

Engagement took place last night!
Details unknown at this time.

Now if you don't know how much I love my brother you can read about it briefly here and here.

So I'm sure you can imagine my reaction when I received a text from my brother last night that said, "Hey ya'll, we're finally engaged!"

Yes, yes. My brother did, in fact, send his only sibling a mass text to tell of his engagement.

I couldn't even offer the proper congratulatory words.
My response was something like, "Um, congratulations, but you're seriously telling me via mass text?!?!"

And that's how it is.

Thankfully, I LOVE my brother's fiance, Kylie.

LOVE HER!

I am so excited that she will be joining our family. She is the perfect addition.
She eats dinner with us.
She loves Mal and Roy and Eppie.
She laughs at my brother's disgusting boy habits.
Which usually leaves me the only one not laughing. Zach, Kylie, and Shane have a blast laughing together while I remain disgusted.
She watches The Bachelor with my mom and me.
She's a pickier eater than I am!
She's cute!

If you didn't know, I had a long time fear that my brother would marry someone I didn't like and that would just be it. Our sibling friendship would be no more.

No worries, though. I love her.

Here is one of many reasons why:

I sent her a congratulatory text as well and her response was:

"Thank you. He should've called you!"

Congratulations, Kylie and Shane! I love you both and I am so excited for you!!!!

p.s. You guys all thought I was having a baby didn't you?!?!

Mahalo

What am I thanking you for?
Maybe for reading?
Or waiting with excitement for Hawaii pictures?
Or maybe it's the only Hawaiian word I learned/used...
once.
Zach used it EVERY.WHERE. I felt silly.
Like an impostor.
But it seemed like a good enough blog title for our little trip.

Please forgive the fact that I just learned how to use Picasa 3 to edit my pictures/make a collage.
I spent a lot of time putting these together--but you can tell I'm still in the early learning stages.

I also included text on EVERY SINGLE collage.
But couldn't get it to stay on my picture when I uploaded it?
So here's our trip in pictures:

Waikiki Beach
In attendance: Boi, Kassie, Zach, Me. Everyone played in the water.
Me? NOOOOOOO!
I put my bottom on the sand and I didn't move until it was time to leave!
I read and basked in the glorious sun.
And when it was time to go, I ran into the water--my whole body, head, too--just to say I did!
Haunama Bay
Snorkeling
My favorite thing!
LOVED IT!
In attendance: Zach/Me :)

Laie Temple
Prettiest place on the whole island
In attendance Wed Night: Long story. Still upset about it.
All of Boi's family, Grandma Mary, and eventually Zach and me. Eventually would be why there are no pictures of anyone else there.
Of course everyone was in attendance for the sealing on Saturday.

Wedding Dance
In attendance:
All of Boi's family, Dad and Mom, Grandma Mary, Nana and Granddad, Aunt Donise, Rob, Kay, Zach, and Me.

I love these pictures.
They give me a sense of pride.
Pride in the family I married into.
They are so much fun. Just look at them.
And proud of the family that I'm now "related" to via Kassie's new marriage.
I love Boi.
LOVE him.
He's such a great guy and his parents and family are phenomenal. I feel so fortunate to have these people in my life...forever. We are so blessed.

The Wedding
In attendance: see all of the above

Beautiful sealing.
Truly beautiful.
It was the first wedding day sealing I've ever attended. I am grateful that I was able to be a part of it.
Kassie's smile was so big and excited. I remember that feeling.
The Spirit was so strong.
The Tongan people have such strong testimonies and such appreciation for temple blessings.
It was truly a joy to attend such an event with them.
They take nothing for granted.
We cried.
Kassie was gorgeous.
Grandma Mary made her dress and veil...incredible huh?

Wedding Reception Everyone in attendance: EVERYONE!
Traditional Tongan reception.
INCREDIBLE experience.
So neat.
I learned a lot and felt so privileged to be a part--in a small way--of this family and this culture.

Just the two of us

A few pics that we snapped throughout our trip...I absolutely loved having so much time to spend with Zach.
I love him!

Random Favorites
The top and bottom pictures on the left were for Shane. He sent me a text telling me I must get pictures with these guys. (Boi has cousins that are in the NFL) I was a little apprehensive. So I asked Boi if that would offend him, he said not at all. So I approached. Nicest guys!

The top is Ma'ake Kemoeatu of the Redskins.
The bottom is Chris Kemoeatu of the Steelers.

Also included: a picture of a sea turtle we saw on Turtle Beach, a cute puppy named Snoopy, our family eating at the PCC--such a fun group, the most comfortable bed EVER, my handsome husband, and the view from our hotel room. I read a book every morning (4 a.m. Hawaii time) that we were there on the balcony. I enjoyed the weather and the view. Just beautiful to me!

We had a blast but we spent A LOT of time in the car. A really lot! :)
It couldn't be avoided. But I get grumpy in the car.
So the last picture is me keeping myself busy.
You might equate me and a camera in the car to a DVD player repeatedly playing Tangled or goldfish crackers to appease a child on a long road trip.
I play with the camera and find myself amusing and might even laugh or brag my wonderful ideas.
(In fact, I could probably dedicate an entire post to pictures like this, seriously)

Eventually, though. My boredom overtakes and I get grumpy.
Luckily, I could then text my mom or Misty and then we would reach our destination!

And we said goodbye to Hawaii but we hope to go back someday!
Thanks to the Tilini family and my in-laws!
Plus a nice tax return and my daddy.
We had a wonderful time!

Treasures

"May each of us treasure this truth: One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one." --President Thomas S. Monson

Zach and I are so blessed to have so many mother figures in our lives.

We've only pictured a few
(and yes, I recognize I need new pictures of just about everyone but Nana and Grandad.)
We have aunts and grandmothers and others that are not pictured here.
My Mom:
She's as good a mom as a mom gets! She's darn near perfect. I am blessed!

Zach's Mom

She gets me and I feel so blessed for that. She hugs me, laughs at me, she's even cried with me. There's a LOT of laughter when Suzanne is around. I love her!

Zach's 2nd Mom, Pati

She's tough and I admire that! I love that she is always complimentary and I feel like she has my side when I feel outnumbered by the boys. (Zach and his dad). We've shared a number of quiet glances across a room when we're in agreement but would rather keep it quiet :)

Zach's Grandma Hatch

Her home feels like home to me and I always feel welcome there. I feel like she's my grandma, too. I love her so much it's not funny. She is so giving. She's just plain good to me. She is also the hardest working grandmother I've ever met. No joke! She's incredible!

Zach's Grandma Mary

She's a crack up! Takes life a moment at a time, you can tell Zach spent a lot of time around her. She goes with the flow, cracks a lot of jokes, and has a good time no matter what.
Zach's Nana

Nobody can make me laugh as hard as Nana (except maybe my brother). The thing is--she doesn't even mean to. She's just a riot. She's just like me...super obsessive but watching it in someone else it's just hilarious. Anywhere from jumping to the conclusion that her air conditioner was absolutely broken--when in reality it just hadn't been turned on, to freaking out about Zach drinking an outdated Capri Sun, to playing Hand and Foot with her. She's wonderful!
Happy Mother's Day to all!

I don't have any digital photos of my Grandma Marty and so I felt uncomfortable posting one grandma picture and not another. Ya'll know how I love my grandmas.

Pride

See here for wise words...
and an amazing song.
which happens to remind me of my gram.
It's a good day!

I Think I've Found a New Favorite

Flower.

Today I came home to
these beautiful tulips.
My aunt Cara
(the one with 2 sets of twins, pets, a house to run, a husband to look after, and family to take to doctors appointments and such)
somehow found the time to buy flowers, arrange them, and drop them off on my door step.
Don't they look beautiful.
Made. My. Day.
Seriously.
I need these all the time.
ALL THE TIME!
They look soooo good on our mantel. They fit perfectly.
I can say that since I didn't think of them, make them, or anything of the like.

My aunt Cara has made arrangements for weddings, funerals, every shower I've ever hosted.
Birthdays, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Easter. Etc.
I think she should start a business.
So if you're interested, let me know. I will act as the middle man here :)
She doesn't know I'm saying this, and that's kind of funny of me.
But she'd do it. And she'll do it cheaper and better than anyone else.
I promise.
Anyway, I thought I'd showcase her talent on here.
Cara did ALL of the flowers for my wedding:
corsages for all of the groomsmen, ring bearers, grandpas, and dads,
all of the bouquets for the bride, bridesmaid, and flower girl,
and all of the flower arrangements on the tables at the reception. Take a peak.
Comment or call if you want some of your own :)

Soundtrack

"If you ask me, music is the language of memory."
-This would be an excerpt from the latest Jodi book, which I finished reading about two weeks ago.
It was...okay.

But I loved this quote.
And so I've decided to share some of my life's soundtrack.
Which is why it's kind of funny that my mom posted what she did on Friday.

"The Answer is Blowing in the Wind"--obviously, this song reminds me of my childhood and my mom. It makes me cry, really cry, to hear it now. And seriously, nobody can sing it as well as my mom.

"Bop" by Dan Seals. Mom and I used to dance to this song when I was little. I had a father daughter/dance at my wedding and I also planned for this to be my mom/daughter dance at my wedding. Mom and I got to dance to a portion of it. Someone cut in...it was okay, though.

"Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. Another song I sang with my mom all of the time.

"Love Shack"-The B-52's Brooke and I roller skated to this song just about every Saturday. We went to roller skating lessons at Skateworld. Does anyone remember Skateworld from back in the day? I had seriously an amazing childhood.

"She's in Love with the Boy" Trisha Yearwood. This was the first song I really fell in love with by myself. It was the first cassette tape I ever got, it was a Christmas present. Zach and I walked into our reception to this song, also. So it has a lot of memories attached to it.

"One of Us" Joan Osborne. I had an obsession with this song in middle school. It was the first CD I ever got. Also a Christmas gift. I look back at this time in my life as a rather unfortunate time. I went through a period of time where I didn't think country music was "cool." Yes, I hate to admit it. Luckily, I quickly got over that and went back to my music.

"Queen of my Double Wide Trailer" Sammy Kershaw. This song reminds me very much of working at Sheplers. My very first job. One of the guys I worked with, loved this song. If the store was empty, we would usually sing it. :)

"Kody" Matchbox Twenty. This reminds me of my first few years of college. I fell in love with Matchbox Twenty. Really, any song by them would count as a memory. ANY song. I listened to them mostly when I was sad. I was going through a rough time at first. During this time, I have a very funny memory of being on a date with a boy that WOULD NOT leave me alone. I made him take me to Fred Meyer so I could buy the new Matchbox Twenty CD and listened to it in his car. I think Misty is the only one who appreciates that story. It was so gutsy and funny of me. Matchbox Twenty brings me back to so many places and so many emotions...The Lynch's house while Misty broke up with Ryan on the phone, My Grandma's house, my car---my little black Saturn and the drive every morning to Boise State. Wow, it actually makes me ache to think about.

"Gravedigger" Dave Matthews. I fell in love with the Dave Matthews solo album. I listened to this album non-stop for three months after my Grandma Marty passed away. I really sound depressing, but I assure you, it wasn't that way. There is a beauty to sadness and a beauty to getting through it. In college, this was often how I got through it.

Jason Mraz songs remind me of Misty and me. They remind me of summer and floating the river. They remind me of us stopping and getting really unhealthy drive through food after a day on the river. College life. It was really beautiful.
These songs also remind me of the best concert I've ever attended. And the pink Geek shirt I had.
Some of these also remind me of Jonnie. Working on math homework at Jonnie's some nights and we would listen to Jason Mraz. Jonnie would play "Dream Life of Rand McNally" and sing inappropriate lines really loudly just to bother me.
"Geek in the Pink"
"Remedy"
"You and I Both"

Anything by Spill Canvas and their first three albums. They remind me of the time when I spent a lot of time with Jonnie right after I had gotten my heart broken. I played a lot of poker, too :) Jonnie was my rock during this time. We listened to music, went to concerts, and I would stop in every Monday to see him at work. He would make me chocolate milk and I would sit up at the bar and talk to him. As painful as this time in my life was, I wouldn't trade it because I got so much from my strengthened friendship and I have so many rich memories. It also reminds me of being really thin. :)
"All Hail the Heartbreaker"
"Staplegunned"
"Sunsets and Car Crashes"
"Dutch Courage"

"Bartender" Dave Matthews--A lot of Dave Matthews reminds me of the drive with Josh, Jonnie, and Jessica to Jackpot for my 23rd birthday.

"Chicken Fried" Zac Brown. This song reminds me of the time in my life right before meeting Zach. I had graduated from college. I was loving my single life. I had a bunch of guy/girl single friends that I hung out with and I was having a blast.

"Already Gone" Sugarland. I normally hate Sugarland. But there is one line in this song. I heard it when I first met Zach and this line always struck a chord with me. I still turn it up when it comes on the radio and I still get butterflies in my stomach.
"They say the first time won't ever last. But that didn't stop me, the first time he laughed.
All my friends tried to warn me the day that we met. Girl don't you lose your heart yet.
But his dark eyes dared me with danger. And sparks fly like flame to a paper. Fire in his touch, burning me up, but still I held on. 'Cause I was already gone."
Zach just says that the rest of the song can't come true whenever I tell him this song reminds me of him/us/our beginning.

"Two Weeks" All that Remains. Zach loved this song when we first met. We did a lot of playing this song on Rockband when we were first hanging out.

"People are Crazy"-Billy Currington. This song reminds me of driving in the car with Suzanne and Warren coming back from South Carolina. All four of us were singing along to this song.

"Long Black Train"-Josh Turner This reminds me of our trip to Georgia. Suzanne had this CD and Zach had never heard this song. He liked it. Listened to it a lot. And sang along to it. My husband has a deep voice and he can sing along to Josh Turner. SO sexy!!!

"Love Your Love the Most"--this song reminds me, more than any other, of the time that Zach and I were dating and together. I LOVED it. I wanted to play it at our wedding. Zach said,"No way!" It was too hick. Too something. If his mom thought it was appropriate for a wedding, then we could play it? What?!? I was so mad. Then one day randomly, the song was on the radio and Zach turned it up! A few days later he said he wanted it to come on. Apparently he had a change of heart and he loved it. And we danced to it as our second wedding song.

There are obviously so many more songs that strike me, as I'm sure there are millions with you.
I'm so grateful for music if for only this reason. I love the that a memory can come back in a split second.

Are there any you'd like to share?

On a Day Like Today

You all know how I feel
And you know I'm on the verge of tears...still.
Nothing traumatic.
Plate's just a little full.
And not enough refueling the brain/body.
Sleep isn't happening for me right now.
And just TOOOO much going on.
Basically, it's one of those days.

It is also one of those days when I go to clean up my classroom so that we're ready for Spring Break
and I go to put my Reader's Theatre scripts away and I glance at the writing in the top right-hand corner...

That's my mom's writing.
And it brought tears to my eyes.
Yes, I'm serious.
Sometimes things like that just get to me.
Because no matter how full my plate is,
no matter how overwhelmed I'm feeling,
I have this amazing friend who is just always there.
And because she's always there I have pieces of her everywhere.
These little tokens remind me of my mom and I working in here this summer. It reminds me of my constantly needing to redirect my mom. Which makes me smile. It reminds me of her bringing me and Renee Maverick hot dogs because I was starving and my amazing mother asked me on the phone if Renee would want something, too.
It reminds me of how I missed her when I had to come in and work by myself the next day.
These little tokens remind me of how incredibly blessed I am.
And then I can breathe just a little easier.
For now.