Finding Balance

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I have lots of friends.

Church Friends

Work Friends

Just regular friends found wherever...

I have friends from before marriage

Friends from during courtship/engagement

Friends from after marriage.

I've always been proud of how different all of my friends are.

Like every single one of them is different.

It's always been that way and I think it's good.

However, lately it's been a source of frustration for me,

My husband works and goes to school.

 When he's home he's usually doing homework.

We have plans every week with each other and sometimes with others.

I work and have busy callings at church.

We both have families here.

Is it bad that I sometimes find it a little frustrating that in order to "catch up" with friends I haven't seen I have to meet someone, closer to them because somehow I feel guilty for living where I do so I drive to them.I usually end up going out to eat, because that's what friends do?

Gas rounds up to $4 a gallon.

And a meal is at least three times that.

That's a lot of money.

When you have 10 different friends.

Wanting to have lunch at ten different times.

It can add up pretty quickly.

I can't get all of my friends together at once.

I feel too pressured to make sure everyone is being spoken to/acknowledged/entertained/having fun

And almost always someone is not being spoken to/acknowledged/entertained/having fun

And out comes the phone (which is cue for a whole different post entirely)

Facebooking, Texting, Etc....

like seriously, you are coming to something I have planned and asked you to be at and just because you don't have my attention this very second that calls for Facebooking via the phone?!?! I can seriously feel my blood pressure rising. 

It is not fun for me.

I end up more mad at my friends than happy I saw them.

A girlfriend of mine had a birthday party at The Cheesecake Factory a little while back

She invited roughly 20 people. No joke.

It was packed. Originally I was sitting by someone I had never met before.

A bunch of single girls from a new ward that I was never a part of.

I didn't even get to talk with my friend at all over dinner.

I didn't care.

It was her birthday and she wanted all of her friends together.

I met some new people and visited and enjoyed some dessert.

It was fine.

I left there thinking, "Why can't I do that?!" 

Why do I feel so obligated that everyone be happy...when if I'm the one planning it, it should be my way, right?

I often get this line,"Well you let me know when you want to do something because you're always so busy."

This puts a lot of pressure on me to practically maintain a friendship.

And I am busy. And I like my house. And I like my husband.

And gas is expensive and eating out adds up.

I am meeting all of my people next week over the course of four days for lunch dates etc. 

And then I am just inviting everyone to game nights and dinners at our house...single /married...Mormon/ not...nerdy/not nerdy...you get the drift.Come one, come all! You like us...surely you can all find a common thread of sometime. Really they're all awesome.

That will be my attempt at getting together with my friends. 

And that's just it!

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