Quotes by Cara Elmer Blair

I am writing a day early because it is my sister and Shar's Aunt Cara's birthday.
I called her this morning to wish her a Happy Birthday and she said "I finally know what
30 feels like .. I reached over and grabbed my neighbors a@#. "
So anyway .. she is without a doubt one of the funniest people on the earth so I would like to share some quotes and actions from her past few years.

A few weeks ago I spoke to her about an issue where I got hosed at work and she had asked me
why I didn't say anything and that I used to not let people get away with that kind of stuff, then later that evening I went to watch her boys play basketball and they were going to ride home with me. I said"put your balls in your mom's car and I will take you .. " She said "No you better let Aunt Elise have them she needs to take them to work with her in the morning."

After a discussion about this extremely pretty woman that was married to a rather goofy looking guy and she said how does that happen and I said well he probably was really a decent person to which she replied " oh ok Shut out the lights honey I need to see your soul."
This also comes out when she sees a mismatch " Well every A@# has a seat"

"Oh buck up Nancy, I don't see any blood" after one of her boys was crying about getting hurt.
"Thanks for the news Dan Rather" after a tattling episode
"Oh ok when will you learn.. Prolificate " after one of her kids tells the goings on of the day to their dad and the problem begins to grow and grow.
"I am going to return my birthday suit .. it is too big and all wrinkled" After being asked by mom what she was going to do for her birthday.
"I am just waiting til the kid's are grown and then I am going to leave you" after her husband said I love you and was wanting her to answer him back .
"Everybody wants a baby.." after her 3 year old was throwing a horrendous tantrum
In response to telling her about Shar's blog on what we want to do after this life "I am going to be running from the devil .. bring me a glass of water or a coke!"
Then there are the times she is just funny.
My friend's mom's 70th birthday was a limo ride and Cara showed up in an evening gown and gloves and was so funny the whole night. Margaret one of Glenna's friends still refers to her as the funniest woman she has ever met
A night when we were playing charades and she had a choice of acting something out so she chose a movie.. then stands with her arms outstretched for Titanic.
Then for her next five turns ..she does the same act.
The time we had a garage sale and she was singing the lyrics along with the radio and then the song was over and people were walking in and out and nobody is paying attention and she kept singing* It's the simple things in life Like the kids at home and a loving wife That you miss the most, when you lose control And everything you love starts to disappear The devil takes your hand and says no fear Have another shot, just one more beer Yah, I've been there, that's why I'm here * over and over and over until Sharlee just lost it laughing.
Her Karoake impression of Bob Seger complete with cowboy hat and beard and cigarette singing Turn the Page.
Trying to make Todd dance at his 40th birthday party.. you don't know how funny this is unless you know Todd.
Singing "oh Dad your the best Dad I ever had" every year on Father's Day and his Birthday.
I wish I had written some of her material down as there are many many more but, you have to know her to appreciate the depth of this and sometimes you have to be the brunt of her jokes as we all know.
I just want to wish her the best birthday month and year ever!!!